Cool First Date Ideas That Aren’t Really Cool

I don’t have a exact stat on this, but I am a professional Tinderella so just take my word on it. Step Five: Only maintain four conversations at a time. Not five, not six, FOUR. “Why four Elle?” Four conversations allow you to actually engage with each toad and without getting overwhelmed and bored. You need to give a little to get a little so try to put your best Tinder foot forward with each of those guys. You may quickly discover nothing in common, and you let the conversation die, but at least you tried verses giving the bare minimum and being upset when a guy has no desire to execute asking you out. Ladies, take some responsibility here. Often I find that I have so many conversations at once that I can’t keep it all straight, I get exhausted, and I lose interest because I never hung around long enough to find out something noteworthy about the guy.topadultreview.com SO FOUR is the magic number. Don’t fuck with it, just take action. Step Six: Once you decide who you want to meet in person, arranged your dates and get back once again to your ten swipes. Step Seven: Every week go through your matches and unmatch fellas who never sent a message.

Keep your tinder game clean and organized. MORAL OF THIS RECIPE IS… TO BE STRATEGIC. You are probably strategic in most aspects of your life and why not apply the same concepts to dating? Don’t sit in your bed bored, swiping for hours, racking up hundreds of matches. That is overwhelming, and honestly, it’s a waste of matches. Don’t take part in ten conversations at time because I PROMISE you’ll lose interest and likely never even meet half of them. You never know who you’re going to “click” with so take it slow, be strategic, and give people chances. I challenge alllllllllll the singles to give this a try. To date, its working quite well for me. All four of my conversations are great, two have asked for dates, and I have a feeling the other two will soon… Four dates are manageable; fifteen isn’t. Stay the course, my friends, stay the course. xo xo, Tinderella Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook10Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: How to Win at Tinder f“A woman is supposed to make a man’s dick hard, not his life” Yep. When I heard a man say this, I literally had to note it in my Iphone to reference it in my blog this week. Is this how men REALLY think? Very rarely will you have women and men in room together and the topic of relationships, sex, etc will not sooner or later become the topic of discussion.

Well a friend of mine and I were out at bar last week and we met some guys at a high top table next to ours. We began conversing and they asked us if we were in relationships. When my friend said that she was single and I told them I was dating they begun to make assumptions that the reason many women are still single is because they are too picky and they set their expectations too high. From there the conversation got really interesting. One of the guys shared that he thinks women give up too quick on men. What he meant by that is that he thinks women in relationships or dating should allow a man to sew his wild oats, do his thing and wait patiently until he is ready to completely settle down. He got upset with a girl for moving on after waiting around on him six months to settle down. His friends agreed that women complain to much and should just be patient with men. Basically men are looking for that “ride or die” chick that is gonna stick around and stay there for him when he is done playing around with all of his side pieces. I couldn’t help but ponder on some of the relationships of women that I know that have put up with a man’s B.S. for years and he finally does come around and commit to her because she’s always been there.topadultreview.com Now truth be told, it doesn’t happen often but it does happen.

Now are these women happy in these relationships? Probably not. Is this what being in a committed relationship is all about? Is the new definition of patient as follows: Patient (adj)- the ability to put up with something or someone that hurts you continuously with the hopes that you will sooner or later receive the “happily ever after” outcome. How long should a woman put up with a man’s nonsense before she decides she deserves better? Is the only solution to prove our love and commitment to a man is to continue to let him do whatever or whoever the hell he wants until he gets tired and decides to “settle” with whoever was the last soldier standing? What are your thoughts on this fellas?

The eFlirt Date Expert Explains it All

Ladies? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook16Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: Dating, men, Relationships, single Has your love life been a bumpy road filled with detours, roadblocks, and dead ends? If you never have a deep relationship that lasts, you may think everyone else is to blame. The right person just hasn’t come along yet. Think again. If you find something wrong with every date or you sabotage your relationships before they truly take off, you could be pointing your finger in the wrong direction.

You may function as problem. Your Anxiety Can be Your Downfall According to marriage and family therapist Shelly Bullard, your insecurities could be to blame for the failure of your relationships. Your anxiety about finding love can be felt by prospective partners. Your doubts about the power to make a relationship work can lead you to failure. Think of it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you’ll never find true love, you are likely to prove that it is true. You Need to Accept Yourself If your relationships have failed in the past, you may need to get out of your own way. According to Dr. Juliana Breines, you need to accept who you are. When you come to terms with your faults and your strong points, you will gain acceptance.

In turn, you will be able to accept love from others. See yourself through the eyes of someone who adores you. You’ll be able to have a new perspective on the good qualities which can be inside of you, making you feel worthwhile. Your Expectations Are Unreasonable Whether you are searching for a soulmate or simply want to take a step up the right direction, think about your expectations in a partner. Are you setting the bar too high? You aren’t perfect. Why should you expect your date to be on a pedestal that outshines everyone else? You don’t have to sacrifice your morals when you’re buying a love interest. Just be realistic. Remember that potential dates are human being too. Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover We all have fantasies about a ideal match. Books, magazines, television, and movies give us plenty of examples of attractive people. Don’t shut the door on a person who may not have conventional beauty. A person’s inner qualities are much more important than their looks. You Have Trust Issues Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship.

It offers to be mutual, not a one-way street. Calvin Rosser, a motivational speaker, and writer noticed his failed relationships were rooted in broken trust in his past. a middle school sweetheart broke his heart. He carried the weight of her betrayal for many years. He couldn’t trust new women in his life because of the way a young love hurt him. Many of us have shared the same experience. The main thing you need to remember is you can’t assume everyone is going to cheat or pass you up for someone else. If you love someone and that love is returned, you have to put faith in your partner. Good Communication is crucial You need to express your feelings plainly with a potential partner. There is no-one to read your mind. If you don’t like something, say so in a tactful way. Be honest. Tell the one you love what is most important to you. Be a good listener as well.

Your partner needs to be able to speak his or her mind also. When you open the door to your heart, you’ll be surprised at all the good things that can come your way. You Have to Make Good Choices All too often, people are drawn to a person who is not a good match. Think of all those bad men and bag girls which can be in popular culture. You may find yourself always trying to rescue a partner in trouble. Your dates could have unhealthy habits. You need to steer clear of anyone who is going to send you into a emotional trainwreck. You Need to be Willing to Try New Things If you are close-minded and only want to pursue your own interests, you are limiting your option in dates. You’re also closing yourself to endless possibilities. Partners with a healthy relationship are willing to give new things the opportunity. If your date desires to go mountain climbing and you have always stayed on the ground, compromise with a hike. Find a person who is willing to take a ride on your motorcycle for the first time. Try taking turns when it comes to choosing what you will do on a date, what to eat, or where to go for a getaway.

If you respect each other’s passions, you will broaden your horizons. Love is approximately chemistry and finding the right person at the right time. It’s also about looking at who you are and any barriers you have created. Knock those walls down and let love find its way in. Summary:If your relationships have always been doomed to failure, you could be to blame. You need to look at yourself. Acceptance is a start. Learning from past mistakes can help you to move forward. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook12Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: Relationships, self-acceptance, single I started getting a few messages from folks on LinkedIn congratulating me.

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Undoubtedly, I’d done something shitty, but no. Upon further investigation, I saw that LinkedIn alerted the world that I’d been “working at” the Urban Dater for 6 years now. Really? Six years!? Wow. I know I don’t write as much as I once did, yet I do still date like a motherfucker. But six years. Plenty has happened in that time. I’ve seen bloggers in this space come and go, yet the Urban Dater and a number of others I can think of have remained steady. What does it all mean? Maybe I’m stubborn?

I’d like to think it’s more than that. the Urban Dater has never been about me. It’s been about the content, about the brand and about the sometimes awesome, more often than not crazy, world of online dating. This is an online dating blog (and another of the top ones, I might add). It was never my “goal” to run this site as long as I have. And I’ve thought about walking away from the project several times, but I can’t take action. It keeps asking for more of my time and my resources. So that’s what I’m going to keep giving it. Thanks A lot of work and a lot of contributions have gone into making this site what it is and that’s a success. Yes, YOU make this engine go. All of our readers and all of our sponsors. THANK YOU!

I’d also like to give a big fat shout out to our Managing Editor, Betty Mars, for being awesome and wrangling articles and authors and just for being a super brainy dame that keeps me on my toes. Good things are coming. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your friends and family (those of you that observe it at least and if you don’t still enjoy your loved ones. Okay?) Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides I was masturbating/going-for-a-walk the other day when I saw the text message to the left. If you’re one of them assholes that disables images in your browser like that Linux Hacker fuck-head, then I’ll just give you the short curlies of it all: “Bro, I have mono. Just how do I tell my woman about this?” Not that mono is a big deal or anything… I thought it was something that people got when they became complacent and bored. Ignorance, as they say, is bliss. Right? Well, Get STD Tested might disagree… Well, for your benefit dear readers, I decided I was likely to do a bit of research so that you lazy sons-of-bitches need not do it yourself. Besides, you probably know this shit already since you likely have mono or have had it, you dirty slut-bags (I really do love our readers. Really!) The internet/Google Says: While the Urban Dictionary defines mono as: And we have a winner So either homeboy got it from getting to fist base or he got it by sharing food with people … Look. I have to be honest here; in fact, let’s ALL be honest here. Where did my man get this bout of mononucleosis?

If I’m a betting man, and I bet on those shitty ass Bills to win an NFL championship each of those three times they went to the Superbowl, a lifetime ago, then I’m saying he got it by getting freaky with his woman. Needless to say, I stopped enjoying my “walk…”My advice was pretty much this: “Dude, you need to tell her you have this.” Now, she’s the only woman he’s been with for a while now, so, it’s likely he got this from her or, from sharing food (cough, cough bullshit!) or “sword fighting” with dudes in the forest again… His concern is that his woman will be mad and think he’s gone to have the fruits of another… If she feels that way, I told him, then she doesn’t trust him and what good is the relationship anyway. In any case, talking with your partner about STDs is pretty effing important.So, dear readers, what advice would you give to this guy? Hmmmm? No, really. I wanna know! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Questions and Answers, Tips & Advice Tagged in: mono, Sex, STD After being off the market for months (maybe even years) you’re finally ready. You’ve revamped your wardrobe; vacuumed the cat hair off the couch; started smiling at strangers. You’re back on the market and ready to date. But after one, two, maybe even four weeks of being back in the singles’ game, you realized something: every one of these dinners out, movies in, and stressful nights spent waiting for returned calls and text messages have you gaining something aside from new love interests. That’s right—all this waiting has you gaining weight. The Dating Game Is High-Calorie For most of us, dating is the most wonderful, awful part of being a single adult.

The upside? We get to dress up, go out, act flashy and talk about ourselves to people who’ve not yet built an opinion about us. But the down side can be rough, especially on our bodies. Dating means putting yourself nowadays, which is stressful. Stress is proven to lower the immune system, making us prone to fall ill and less likely to feel our best. Plus, what do we do when we’re stressed? We eat. It’s not just the stress of dating that ups our appetite, though. What do we do on dates?

We eat. And how do we share the important points of our new-found dating life with friends? Over ice cream, donuts, 3,000 calorie lattes, or boxes of cookies. Therefore the long and short of it is dating= eating. And eating= gaining weight. Keeping up appearances? When we venture back out onto the market, we’re usually a little disillusioned about our bodies. Either we were recently hurt by a previous romantic partner and feel badly about ourselves; or we’ve been putting our all into our physical appearance, and are riding on a high of self-esteem. Either way—or any way that falls between—our egos are delicate. When meeting new people, especially those you’re potentially romantically interested in, it’s important to keep up a solid, healthy diet and exercise routine. Sure, I’m biased—I’m a doctor.

But take a peek at any lifestyle enhancement plans— for instance, the Truth About Six Pack Abs reviews of real-life success stories and tell me: are diet and exercise not the best way to keep your self-confidence at its peak? Get yourself on a daily exercise regime, whether through a gym or of your own volition, and keep maintaining a healthy, balanced diet, limiting alcohol. You’ll find yourself feeling more energetic, outgoing, and happy. In other words, you’ll be the best date anyone’s ever been on. Dining out doesn’t mean eating crap The old standby for a date is dinner and a movie, everyone knows that. But many people are also afraid to serve up alternative options from the standard diner meal or a carb-loaded Italian dinner, so eating out with a date can easily become eating very, very badly. Don’t be afraid to offer the option of a home-cooked, healthy meal. If that’s too intimidating, scope the internet for healthy bistros nearby, or suggest you and your date visit your favorite healthy dining spot. Avoid getting bogged down by the greasy, high-caloric, junk food that many chain and fast food restaurants serve. Suggest an after-dinner walk, too, to keep yourself from sinking in to a food coma. (Plus, a moonlit walk is oh, so romantic.) Stress makes you fat. All the carb-cutting and treadmilling on earth can fend off the worst culprit of weight gain: stress. Dating is a stressful time, and it’s natural to be on edge. After all, you’re putting your neck—and heart, and self-esteem, to name just a few things—on the line, so emotional logic would follow that you’re going to be a little uncomfortable being so vulnerable. But there’s an improvement between simply feeling stress and allowing yourself to be consumed by it. The Diet Solution Program reviews a few suggestions–that you give yourself 15 or 20 minutes a day wherein you give attention to yourself.

Check-in emotionally, asking how you’re doing, what’s worrying you, and going over a few affirmations for the day. Then, give yourself a physical once-over, determining areas of your system where you feel strong, or working on accepting areas that you’re not so confident in. In the end, keep a positive attitude no matter how many times you strike out. If you’re maintaining a healthy lifestyle, you’re putting yourself first. Sure, you might night meet mister- or miss- wonderful on date number one, but if you’re putting your health and well-being first, you’ll inevitably land yourself in a relationship with a person who really deserves to be with someone as wonderful as you. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Tips & Advice Tagged in: advice, Date Ideas, observations, Relationships If you are tempted to date your EX after multiple attempts of reaching out to you or long apologies, this one is for you. The old cliché ‘try again till you succeed’ doesn’t really fit the relationship with your EX. Ask the individuals who have done that and they will tell you it’s a waste of your emotions. It’s always exciting to date them again but when the excitement wears off, you are back where you started from. Yesteryear is called past for a reason. It shouldn’t be dragged into the future. Before you make up your mind to jump in to a sinking ship, below are a few signs which can be a clear indication you shouldn’t be dating your Ex again. Your BFF doesn’t like him I know, I know you shouldn’t base your relationships on the approval of your friends or family but sometimes, you have to stop and listen to them. What’s your best friend’s take on your Ex?

Does she say he is a jerk? Does she hate him because he made you feel miserable? It’s best if you listen to your BFF’s take on dating your Ex. You have started rationalizing all the deal breakers Did you break up because of certain differences in lifestyle, maybe faith or relationship goals? You really must be overlooking those deal breakers now that you want to date him again.